CECI, Las Vegas, October 29, 2033. The Independent Ride
The early morning hours were perhaps the primary witness to the Mojave incident that occurred yesterday, Sunday. A white BRC V3-Power minivan – a hideous piece of metal – stopped in St. George (UT) for a quick charge, and then continued on its way to San Francisco. According to the V3-Power’s records, the starting point of the itinerary in question was the city of Las Vegas, when the clocks read 9:21 PM and the thermometers exceeded 102 °F.
It is a fact known even to the most inattentive moms in this country that these BARRACUDA vans, especially the V3-Power, stopped receiving software updates and any kind of support since the Old Testament (go ahead and try calling the Barracuda customer service hotline and experience the humiliation and inevitable snickers in the background when asking about “how to update the system on my V3 van”). However, it is not uncommon to see these same vans crossing the avenues of Sun Valley, the smell of Doritos and one-dollar Cola hurling itself out as they pass by, rattling. These same vans, although they don’t carry the same charm and smoothness of travel experience as the A Motors LOFTY, carry people to jobs and colleges and art schools, all of them, of course, desperate to reach their destinations on time and get ahead in life, so they can then change vans.
Artie Morrison, owner of the most prosperous restaurant chain in this stretch, was the first to issue an alert about the van. On the security cameras, he could see something moving through the aged tinted windshield, and he even sent a text message to Jay, Customer Service, 22, almost certainly high, about the small creature lying on the passenger seat. Jay stated to the police chief, and also in an interview with the IR, that he did not see his boss’s message, and was “more than busy” helping an old guy recharge his pickup, which the Artie’s charging plug didn’t seem to fit. It turns out that Artie couldn’t go out, even if he wanted to, to investigate the van’s strange situation, as it was past 10 PM and his ankle monitor was fully functional. The one writing this might perhaps be one of the few to take Artie’s side regarding his course of action. After all, the “Should I Stay or Should I Go (Out)?” syndrome is much more common than you think in people on probation. Minutes flew by and the van took off. Artie said in a call to the IR that he was regretful.
Jade & Carlson, newlyweds, had sent their baby into the Mojave in an autonomous car. Artie doesn’t deserve all the blame, neither does Jay. We are all guilty of this shitty situation.
Note to the editor: I won’t be able to continue this story. Give me something else, or give me nothing.
Publicado originalmente no Substack.